Not So Secret
by tinyurl
Summary: He wasn't quite sure how he had managed it, but he had made his way up the dark stairwell.  Now he was slowly stumbling his way through the bull pen of the Daily Planet to his wife's lone lit desk.


He wasn't quite sure how he had managed it, but he had made his way up the dark stairwell. Now he was slowly stumbling his way through the bull pen of the Daily Planet to his wife's lone lit desk.

"_Lois_." He softly moaned.

Her head whipped up as she searched the room for the source of the sound.

"Clark?"

Lois stood up and found Superman stumbling towards her.

"Clark!" Lois sail louder, now alarmed. Superman collapsed to the floor in front of her. "CLARK!" Lois screamed. She dropped to her knees and began examining him for injuries.

Perry and Jimmy were both working late, since Lois and Clark's new article was going to be published in the early addition of the paper. Perry was in his office reading part of Lois' latest article and Jimmy was choosing a picture for it. They looked up in confusion when Lois screamed. Then they heard a more alarming yell. "Perry! Jimmy? Somebody please help!"

Perry and Jimmy appeared by Lois' side at almost the same time. The scene they arrived to was frightening; Lois was kneeling over a bleeding and unconscious Superman, her obviously pregnant belly hindering her efforts to move his head into her lap. Lois looked up at Perry with tears in her eyes. "What do I do? I don't know what to do!"

Perry looked at her sadly. Unfortunately, he didn't really have an answer for her. Jimmy though, bless the child, had a suggestion. "Maybe if you can wake him up, Superman can tell us what to do."

Lois nodded in agreement. She stared running her fingers through the bruised and beaten Superman's hair in a way too familiar fashion.

"Honey?" Perry and Jimmy looked at each other, surprised and confused.

"Honey, please wake up. Clark, baby. Wake up, just for a second and tell me what to do. Clark, please." Lois seemed to lose her composure. "You can't do this to us now! You promised!"

Superman seemed to stir. The eye that wasn't swollen shut blinked open for a second. "Whaa..."

"Clark. What do I do for you? I don't know what to do." Lois cried, nearly in tears.

"Bruce... call... bruce..."

Lois looked startled. "Of course!" She stared to stand but winced and sat back down holding her side.

"Lois, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jimmy. Give me my cell from next to my monitor." Lois seemed to have regained some of her composure. She took her phone and hit a speed dial. The person on the other end picked up almost immediately.

"Alfred! It's Lois! Is Bruce there? (pause) Well, can you patch me through? (pause) Very urgent! Clark is lying on my lap bleeding out! (pause) Bruce! I need you to help Clark! (pause) Well, he must have picked up some Krypton- (pause) I don't know! All I know is he is lying on the floor of the Daily Planet bleeding out on my lap. (pause) How quickly? (pause) Okay. I'll have him there. (pause) No, Perry and Jimmy are here. I'll get them to move him. (pause) Thanks, Bruce."

Lois hung up the phone and shifted. "Okay guys. Let's get him to the roof."

Perry and Jimmy looked at each other and got to work without a word.

~Clark Kent, the Not-So-Secret Identity~

Fortunately, the bull pen was already on the 14th floor of the Daily Planet building. Unfortunately, the roof was another 12 floors up. As Perry and Jimmy panted up the stairs (how did Superman get so heavy, anyway?), Lois waddled up the stairs behind them.

"Lois? You okay?" Perry managed to say as they climbed stair after stair.

It was through years of working with her that both Perry and Jimmy could tell she was speaking through gritted teeth when she said "Yea, fine."

Just over half way up, Perry heard a loud noise. "What _is _that?" He asked.

"Backup." He heard a raspy voice behind him say.

Perry turned around and screamed (it was a very masculine scream, I assure you).

"Okay, seriously Lois? No warning at all? I mean, come on, it's just the scariest superhero EVER!"

They all looked down to see Lois clutching at the rail with one hand and holding her stomach with the other. She had a look of intense pain on her face. Batman was at her side in a moment. "Lois. What's going on." He said/asked.

"The baby just kicked really hard. Please, just go get Clark to the cave!"

Batman immediately took charge of the situation. "Okay, keep carrying Superman upstairs. I'll be back." He told Perry and Jimmy as he picked up Lois.

"Bruce! Put me down and go get Clark!"

Bruce ignored her and carried her the rest of the way to the roof and into the waiting bat-jet. A few seconds later and he was back carrying Superman and being followed by Perry and Jimmy. "You can't just leave us!" Lois heard Jimmy say. Batman glared at Lois refused to allow them to board after him. "I better not see any of this in your paper." He growled at Perry and Jimmy.

~Clark Kent the Not-So-Secret Identity~

The trip to the Batcave was short and sweet. Bruce immediately got Superman to the examining room. Alfred came down the stairs just in time to see Lois stumbling out of the jet. He walked over to her and tried to take her hand and help her down the stairs. She swatted his hand away. "Miss Lois, please allow me to assist you."

"The only assistance I want is assistance not letting my husband die."

"Miss Lois, we both know he is in good hands. You, on the other hand appear to need some help." She gritted her teeth and let Alfred help her over to where Bruce was examining Clark. He had turned on the sunlight machine.

"I think I've got all the Kryptonite out now. It appears to just be shards, not poisoning. He should be fine with a couple of hours of sunshine."

"That's great." Lois said with some effort and a grimace on her face.

"Miss Lois, now that we have taken care of your husband, may I now ask what is the matter?"

"I, I don't know." There was a sudden pool of water at her feet. Lois looked up at the Dark Knight. "I've got a pretty good idea, though."

Batman rushed over to her. "You might have mentioned this." a stern Batman told her.

"Well, it didn't seem important at the time!" Lois said through intense pain.

"Okay, I believe it is time to get Miss Lois to Dr. Thompkins. Unless you would like to deliver the baby here, Master Bruce?" Lois could have sworn Bruce glared at Alfred as he carried her to the Batmobile.

As he leaned over her to strap her in, she let out a painful yell. "Aaaa, aaa, AAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!"

"I think time is of the essence, Master Bruce!"

He skipped the seat belt and started the engine.

~Clark Kent the Not-So-Secret Identity~

Bruce had to admit it was the oddest ride he had ever taken. And he was driving the batmobile. If there was anything he learned from that ride, it was this:

A screaming pregnant woman who wanted to squeeze your hand was not to be messed with.

Seriously. He would rather face the joker on a nightly basis than have to deal with riding with another pregnant chick on the way to the hospital again.

He got there just in time for her to not have time for an epidural. She was pretty livid.

"Are you freaking KIDDING ME? I AM **NOT **HAVING THIS KID WITHOUT DRUGS!"

It turned out she did. Clark got better in time to show up just before the kid popped out. Bruce took pictures of Clark's face for later blackmail.

Oh yeah, I forgot, Perry and Jimmy...

"Has anyone seen Perry or Jimmy today?" Cat asked into the room. She got a few distracted no's. "Has anyone seen Lois and Clark?" No one even bothered answering her. She shrugged. "Lois must be having the baby. Whatever."

Perry and Jimmy sat on the Daily Planet roof after Batman came and took Lois and Superman away. They didn't say anything, didn't do anything. They just sat. It was a shocked kind of silence. A few hours later, while they were still sitting in shock, Bruce Wayne came by and took them to go see Lois and Clark. As Perry and Jimmy watched the couple and their new baby girl, they each vowed to not remember that night. Seriously, as in, it never happened. They didn't think it really happened anyway.

Besides, who would believe Clark Kent was Superman?


End file.
